A Cure

Question: If there was a cure for Autism, would you want it for Dylan?

Answer: This is a great question. I spent a very long time mulling it over.

Dylan and his autism are inseparable in a way, for me, at least. Would he be able to quote a movie from start to finish including the sound effects if he was neurotypical? Would he be able to listen to music and play it back on a keyboard? Would he use his soft little boy fingers to examine my elbows, nose, hair and cheeks? Would he carefully observe the way I do dishes, or how I paint my nails? Would he see a mechanism and spend hours figuring out how it worked? Would he play Hungry Hungry Hippos with his sister and then find a youtube video highlighting the game so that he could see how it worked and then imitate it? Would he be as sincere, patient, honest and innocent?

I love these things about Dylan. He loves these things about himself. He is proud of his quirks, though to him, they aren't quirks, they are who he is. And by that logic, I wouldn't change a thing about the little boy I am in love with.

Of course, I would do anything to help him overcome some of his challenges. If there was a magic spell I could cast that would allow him to speak everything on his mind, I would be very tempted to conjure up that voodoo. I would love to know everything that he is thinking, everything that he is taking apart and putting back together with his mind.

If there was a button that would make him expand his pallet and eat more food, eliminate his sensory issues and allow him to perfect his motor skills, I am almost certain that I would push it.

I would want to push it because some of these issues cause him physical discomfort and frustration, and I don't want either of those things for Dylan or Lylli. I want them to live perfect, care free lives and live in meadows barefoot chasing butterflies.

However, I did not have "the weight is a gift" tattooed on my shoulder because I thought it would look nice with a sundress. I got that phrase because I believe that overcoming makes for amazing results. Dylan is smashing through some obstacles and slowing climbing over others, but either way, his mind and soul are stronger and more capable because of these hurdles.

A cure would terrify me in the sense that I don't want any of those different parts of his brain to go away, but of course, I speak only for myself and our very specific situation with Dylan. All children, all people affected by Autism, are on a spectrum, and Dylan's "version" of this disorder is something that we can happily live with. It's not worth the risk of losing any part of Dylan in the pursuit of a cure. Especially with all of the advances in therapy, I believe that Dylan will lead a perfectly "normal" life.

As a mother, when I look into his greenblue starfire eyes, I don't see anything wrong with him to cure. I see an opportunity for genius to emerge if given the right tools. I'm doing my best to let him play with everything in the toolbox until he figures out what works best for him.

I expect great things from this boy. I expect magic. I expect him to always be a little different, and I think the world needs that.

Perhaps the "cure" is awareness - the cure is in the world's acceptance of this learning difference and of all disorder/disabilities.

I called Jared for his input and he wrapped it up succinctly: "I wouldn't want to change a thing about who Dylan is." We both agreed that if we could take away any of the GI issues his limited diet causes we would do that immediately, but we wouldn't change anything about Dylan's character, personality, or especially his good looks. Which he OBVIOUSLY got from us.

Thank you for the thought provoking question! I thought about this for an entire day before composing a response.

Now it's YOUR turn! Ask away! I'll be here all month! (Bah-dum Tssshhh!)