To Jared, on his 30th (gasp!) Birthday!

30 reasons I love you despite your...condition. (Dinosaurism)

1. You're WAY cooler than any 18 year olds I know.
2. You rock polo shirts and don't look like a South Tampa troll.
3. You can retire in only 30 years and I can collect some of that sweet money eventually!
4. Dat booty.
5. While you can't change a diaper for anything, you're good with blood. We're a good tag team.
6. You kill spiders. <3
7. You ALWAYS push the double stroller whenever there's a slight incline.
8. You introduced me to Pavement, Bright Eyes, and Superchunk.
9. You got me to watch Alien. And Aliens. I don't know why I thought they would be so scary.
10. I got you to eat sushi. You are infinitely more cultured for of this.
11. You light up when Dylan says a new word or does something out of the ordinary. It melts me to see how proud you are of our little man.
12. You are wrapped around Lylli's finger when she's being her terribly adorable self. It's funny.
13. You never roll your eyes when I refuse to do something becuase, "I'm a princess."
14. You always notice new clothes and new haircuts.
15. You never comment on what my hair looks like before the flat iron attacks it.
16. You'll eat cookies and milk for dinner with me when it's been that kind of day.
17. You'll rub my feeties every night if I need it.
18. You have the world's best scruff.
19. You shave off the world's best scruff, despite how rugged and handsome you look, because it's prickly and tickly and makes me avoid your kisses like the plague. ;)
20. You held my hand the entire visit to Dylan's school and told me the whole way home that he was going to be fine.
21. You taught me to drive stick...I would never go back!
22. You make me and the minis Big Breakfast every weekend.
23. You are, hands down, the most charming person I've ever met. It's dangerous.
24. You can quote IASIP with me all day and never miss a beat.
25. You get my jokes. Always. And you think they're funny!
26. You taught me to love summer and Shark Week.
27. You still open doors for me.
28. You would fight someone to death for me..probably even if I was wrong.
29. You instantly believe the explination for most things is: ghosts, hauntings, aliens, Bermuda Triangle.
30. You're an amazing husband and an incredible father - you never let us down.

I love you big bad inspite of your creaking joints and inability to get off of the couch without making an "oof!" noise.

No worries, I'll keep you fresh with my eternal youth. I love you very much, birthday boy!

May the next 365 days be the best you've ever had.

One love. Zip it up and zip it out,
Kel