There's Nothing You and I Won't Do.

I can't get close enough to you.

I've often wished, mid-embrace, we weren't a solid form - that we could flow in and out of each other like liquid.

I've hoped that I could stop the world and melt with you.

Two beautiful children and endless perfect moments later, I realize now that this is what we have done. Our hearts, our auras, our thoughts, our ways, our glances, our wishes, our kisses, our minds make up an "us." A shared existence revealed itself to me.

I had never hoped that someone would love me so completely, and I never considered that someone like me, with defensive layers stacked strategically around my heart and mind, would be able to fall so madly and unconditionally in love.

You unlocked a softness inside me that I did not know existed, and discovered strength in me that I had been too insecure to harness.

So on your birthday, I make a fool of myself, telling the world that I am better because of you. Happier, healthier, and bursting with love - because of you. A smile on my face and a song in my heart - because of you.

We've spent years stopping the world so that we could melt together, and I still can't get close enough to you.

All my love on your birthday, my Jared!

Kelli

There Are 105 Weekend Days in 2012

I am exhausted, and it feels so good - like when you have a really great workout and you know your gams are lookin' great.

Just kidding, I'm not even sure where my gams/hams/quads are located, but I know that when I finish an impossibly huge project just before a deadline or manage to get all the laundry clean at one time that I feel like a superhero despite the fatigue, and tonight, that's exactly how I feel. These past two weekends were memory making at it's finest.

My cheeks are sore from smiling and my eyes actually ache from crying tears of joy. This is why I have to wear sunglasses everywhere when I'm with the kids or Jared, I'm continually watering up because I am in disbelief that these people, my favorite people in the galaxy, are the same people that I get to live with and love everyday.

Dylan's 5th Birthday is later this month, but it falls around Memorial Day so we celebrate early to avoid crowds and Jared having a panic attack. We're inside people on Memorial Day Weekend.

We celebrated last weekend by taking the boy to the beach to celebrate with family and friends, and we celebrated this weekend with our parents at the Magic Kingdom, and then visited a freakin sweet resort that had a lazy river...a lazy river steps from our hotel room, folks. This little monkey was in heaven.

The very best part of all the birthdaying was simply this: he got it. He doesn't understand that it's his birthday, he doesn't understand that he's a year older, but he knew that we were celebrating HIM. He knew that we were doing all of his favorite things and that we were focused on giving him a great birthday, and I have been waiting five years to have him open his presents, blow out his candles, and understand that this was HIS special day. Or in this case, special several weekends!

And of course, I didn't forget about special time with my crazy princess! My mom and I went to Disney on Ice with her earlier this afternoon, and now, my jaw is actually throbbing from wearing this ridiculous smile on my face for about two hours straight.

I saw my son and daughter cuddle all over each other, my Dylz stare at the ocean, defeat Zurg, splish splash in a zero entry pool and pick out an outrageously overpriced Mickey Mouse balloon, and watched Lylli's eyes beam in wonder at Repunzel swinging from the rafters by her hair, heard her whisper, "Mom. Dad. I LOVE the places you take me," and ride down a lazy river with her dad.

Bliss.

I work hard. I stay sleep deprived and stressed to meet the needs of clients and family alike, and I have always known that my family is totally worth it. Every late night and early morning is driven not only by a desire to do right by my clients and other people that depend on me, but inspired by the love I have for the peeps under this roof.

These past two weekends have been non-stop packing, shopping driving, checking off long lists of everything everyone needs to be happy away from our home, and go-go-going. My body aches from my head to those fabled gams, but I had a perfect time with my loves, and my soul is happy and content despite the bags under my eyes and the endless amount of unpacking that's left to do.

Back to the grind tomorrow so that we can enjoy the remaining weekend days in 2012...and beyond!

Four Words

I want to shout and scream and jump and dance! This has been an AMAZING week for Dylan and it's only Tuesday!

Sunday afternoon he told my mom "Go outside!" and also, "Go inside!" when he was done. This is a big deal. Bigger than the Legend of Ron Burgandy.

He has been following my verbal directions with limited physical prompts and I feel like I could throw up everytime I ask him to do something and he does it. It's almost too much for me to see him make these connections; the excitement literally ties my stomach in knots!

I am very honest about his autism. It can be hard and there are times when I want to speed up his progress. I desperately want to have verbal conversations with my D-Bear and I think that's a very normal feeling for a parent. I do feels pings of jealousy when other mothers can have lunch with their little boys and can talk about trains and monsters or whatever.

But, those moments are fleeting,few and far between. Whatever verbal conversations that I will have with Dylan are WORTH THE WAIT! The conversations I have with him now mean everything to me, and I know he feels, and reciprocates, my love. We have inside jokes. We have our own games and faces that only each other knows. I know I'm not missing out on a thing, in fact, God has blessed me with two children who are much more amazing that I could have ever imagined.

I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. He and I have an ability to connect in a place where words are unnecessary.

I want what every mother wants: a happy, healthy child who is a productive member of society with a minimal arrest record.

Tonight I asked him, "What's up buddy?" when he was grabbing my hand. "Go to my bedroom?" was his response.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Look out world. Hide ya kids,hide ya wife, cuz we Dylanating everybody up in here.