There is no greater pleasure in this world then soothing your child(ren) to sleep.
And it's not just because they finally just shut the crap up for a second so you can have a moment of peace. Unless it's my daughter...and then I'm not sure if the greater joy is soothing her to sleep or just putting her in a cage in her bedroom which we euphemistically call a "crib."
Tinkerbell was a terrible sleeper up until a coworker of mine, probably after hearing me go on and on about how I was never getting any sleep and watching me pour 5-hour Energy into a Red Bull for breakfast, highly recommended to me both Healthy Sleep Habits - Happy Child, and The Sleep Easy Solution. That was one of the best days of my life.
I went with The Sleep Easy Solution because it was endorsed by Ben Stiller. If Zoolander can put his spawn to sleep, so can the hubby and I. I shan't think of the mother I would be if my parenting skills were not up to par with the lead male role in Heavyweights.
The Sleep Easy Solution is an alternative to the cry/whine it out method, which I just couldn't handle. If it worked for you and your kids, that's awesome and I'm happy for you! No judgment here, I'm all about doing what makes the babies happy and healthy and what keeps the parents sane, it just wasn't something I was game for.
Sparing you the step by steps, you basically take about a week to prep and adjust your night terror's sleep association so (s)he learns to self-soothe. Pretty soon you're putting the kids down and then celebrating the rest of the evening because those monsters are out for the whole night! A true success story in our house, Tink slept through the night on night two.
This is polar opposite from what it was...while D*Bear was the poster boy for good sleeping habits, his sister was up every 45 minutes being a little cry baby about everything, and when she wasn't waking up, she was restlessly sleeping and grunting. So ladylike.
I should have taken pictures of what I looked like when I walked into work every morning at 7am. How I stayed employed while looking the constant hot mess and blabbing to anyone who would listen about how little sleep I got is beyond me.
Coworker: Kel, did you get a chance to [insert boring work task here?]
Me: Oh, I don't know, well rested coworker with your stupid bright eyes and your obnoxious bushy tail. How about YOU live MY life last night with only 1 1/2 UNCONSECUTIVE hours of sleep and YOU tell ME if at this early hour YOU would have finished it.
Coworker: It's 3:30pm.
Me: I didn't get any sleep last night.
Repeat. All day. Every day.
Which brings me back to my point. There is no greater joy or pure bliss than putting your sweet baby angel in her crib, kissing her on the forehead, and watching her drift gently and peacefully sleep.
However, I suppose that joy is matched by tucking in your baby bear boy and singing Coldplay, Nada Surf, and old church hymns from your childhood, (which all of a sudden inspire you) for ten minutes while rubbing his back and watching the long eyelashes that he got from his daddy slowly meet.
Bedtime in this house is a sweet memory that I tuck away in the part of my brain that is quick to anger and frustration so I can take it out and make that moment seem as silly...as...well..Ben Stiller as the lead in a movie about supermodels.
Off to wind down for nighty-night myself,
Kel
8.22.2009
Yin and Yang
My husband J and I could not be more proud to be D*Bear's parents, no matter where this winding and uncertain road may take us.
It's such an overwhelming feeling to know that God could have blessed anyone He wanted to with D's precious smiles, hilarious high-energy and angelic disposition, but he chose us. We're doing all we can to show how much we appreciate this gift - I can't imagine feeling any more joy about any other child in the world.
Except for maybe our daughter Tinkerbell, but that's up in the air ;)
Tinkerbell is 10 months old, and is a walking, talking, hot mess. She crawled early, walked at 9 months, and if there is another baby who can keep you on your toes the way that she can, I would like to meet this child so I feel better about how ragged Tink runs me.
She chokes on something twice a day, (at least!) and I see many frantic poison control calls in my future with her.
We could not have two more different children. While D is sweet natured, cuddly, and passive, Tink is a dramatic, demanding...diva? Can you say "diva" about a 10 month old? I'm her mom, I can say it. Child is out of her mind. The only thing that saves her booty is that smile. ::melt:: That four toothed smile. It's all I can do not to tear up just THINKING about it, and she knows it.
She loves her brother, completely infatuated with him, his toys and his snacks. Come to think of it, maybe we have been wrong all along about her motives for adoration with D. Maybe she just wants his things. That's actually much more up her alley.
To continue, I met up with my mom, dad and younger brother and took the minis to Downtown Disney today and we had a blast! The kids loved it!
D*Bear news - I pointed to a balloon, a tree and an elephant and he looked at what I was pointing at. This is a great milestone for a person with PDD! He knows I am showing him something and he is looking to see what it is. Success!
D loved everything, but was especially impressed with a snow globe (that I ended up buying him) and all the waterfalls and fish. Rainforest Cafe was a hit! We took pictures of him with his favorite character, Tigger, and ate a very good lunch. (Also great news!)
Tink pitched a righteouw fit in McDonald's so terrible that families surrounding us this afternoon will always be able to say, "at least they don't act like that diva in McDonald's during The Trantum of 2009," and I had visions of strapping her to the community changing table and walking away.
Lucky for her, she smiled at me at the last minute.
It's such an overwhelming feeling to know that God could have blessed anyone He wanted to with D's precious smiles, hilarious high-energy and angelic disposition, but he chose us. We're doing all we can to show how much we appreciate this gift - I can't imagine feeling any more joy about any other child in the world.
Except for maybe our daughter Tinkerbell, but that's up in the air ;)
Tinkerbell is 10 months old, and is a walking, talking, hot mess. She crawled early, walked at 9 months, and if there is another baby who can keep you on your toes the way that she can, I would like to meet this child so I feel better about how ragged Tink runs me.
She chokes on something twice a day, (at least!) and I see many frantic poison control calls in my future with her.
We could not have two more different children. While D is sweet natured, cuddly, and passive, Tink is a dramatic, demanding...diva? Can you say "diva" about a 10 month old? I'm her mom, I can say it. Child is out of her mind. The only thing that saves her booty is that smile. ::melt:: That four toothed smile. It's all I can do not to tear up just THINKING about it, and she knows it.
She loves her brother, completely infatuated with him, his toys and his snacks. Come to think of it, maybe we have been wrong all along about her motives for adoration with D. Maybe she just wants his things. That's actually much more up her alley.
To continue, I met up with my mom, dad and younger brother and took the minis to Downtown Disney today and we had a blast! The kids loved it!
D*Bear news - I pointed to a balloon, a tree and an elephant and he looked at what I was pointing at. This is a great milestone for a person with PDD! He knows I am showing him something and he is looking to see what it is. Success!
D loved everything, but was especially impressed with a snow globe (that I ended up buying him) and all the waterfalls and fish. Rainforest Cafe was a hit! We took pictures of him with his favorite character, Tigger, and ate a very good lunch. (Also great news!)
Tink pitched a righteouw fit in McDonald's so terrible that families surrounding us this afternoon will always be able to say, "at least they don't act like that diva in McDonald's during The Trantum of 2009," and I had visions of strapping her to the community changing table and walking away.
Lucky for her, she smiled at me at the last minute.
8.21.2009
The First Post is the Deepest
Today was a day that changed my life - in a different way than my wedding day or the birth of either of my womb monsters could change my life.
My two year old angel, D*Bear, was diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder. This is basically a very nice way of saying that he has autistic traits, but is still to young and his future too unpredictable to have the 100% diagnosis of "autistic."
PDD is different for everyone, and for my sweet baby boy it is characterized by this:
Speech delay
Development delay (has trouble understanding commands, stresses easily)
Repetitive behavior
Unimaginative play
For my guy, that's basically it. He does not have several of the traits characterized by autism such as:
Emotional disconnect
Lack of eye contact
Lack of social interaction
Inability to understand facial expressions
Inability to understand simple commands (No! for instance. He's got that one down.)
D*Bear, on the surface, seems like a very typical two year old who happens to be taking his time talking, but once you spend anytime with him at all, you will soon notice that he spins everything; wheels on cars, blocks, toys, basically everything but books. He also seems less attentive than your average toddler, but emotionally, seems on par, if not more in tune than his peers.
I am an extremely lucky mother. D*Bear is truly the epitome of the purest form of joy, and I wouldn't trade my experiences with him for anything. I wouldn't take a "normal" child for anything. My D may have developmental struggles ahead, but one day of working diligently to finally hear him say, "All done!" is better than one million days rolling around in all the stimulus package money Obama has to offer!
You other mother's feel like that too, I imagine. No matter what the struggle, I'd rather struggle with my cutie pie than be on cloud nine with another child with no learning/behavior issues. My child rocks. My son is awesome.
So, today is day one of being the mother of a child with a learning difference. Well, hour 11 to be exact. I can't say that I am at all surprised by this diagnosis, and while it took the wind right out of my sails att first to hear a doctor confirm our concerns, now I feel an almost euphoric peace.
Now I know what I am dealing with. Now I can tackle it. Now I can save my son.
After spending an hour crying myself silly while both my son and my 10 month old daughter (more on my Tinkerbell later,) slept, I sobbed to my amazing (and sexy) husband over the phone, and with his ever soothing voice and endless encouragement, I realized that we can tackle this together.
We can beat this. I just know we can. There has never been a more determined or purposed moment in my life. I'm going to slay his disorder, and we are going to set my son free.
Don't get me wrong - I'm no all powerful force, but I have all my faith in my omnipotent and merciful of God, and I have the most amazing group of friends and family than anyone could assemble, and we are going to win.
I have heard countless times in the weeks leading up to this appointment that God would never put more or me than I could bear. This made me feel so weak...so helpless. I feel like "I have more on me than I can bear!!," I wanted to scream, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Then I started researching...that verse is a huge misquote. It's nowhere is The Bible at all.
(just one of many sources:http://www.ronedmondson.com/2009/03/god-will-allow-more-than-you-can-bear.html)
So, I realized this: of course God puts more on us than we can bear. That's why we need him. In this moment tonight when I realized that I don't have to be impossibly strong, and that I can call upon my Father in Heaven, relief washed over me. I literally felt my nerves from head to toe calm down.
I am putting this in God's hands, and I will do my absolute best to keep my heart open and listen to what steps I need to make to allow God to heal my D Bear.
God is going to bring D out of this. I don't know His time and I don't know His reasons, but I know I capitalize every first letter of every name I refer to Him by, and that makes Him a pretty big deal.
As I sign off tonight, I sign off excited for this new chapter in my family's life, and more rejuvenated and full of worship than I have been in long while. I am obviously saddened that my child would ever have to deal with anything but rainbows and ice cream, but I know that this is not the end of the world.
This is the first day of my new life, a life of a mother with beautiful family, not so different than the day before it.
My husband and I have a lot of research to do, a lot of evaluations and therapy to attend, and a of prayers to pound out.
Praise God that I have a Lord and Savior who can put too much on me, because he will allow me to give those burdens to him. The comfort and the peace that comes from that is breathtaking.
More to come on D Bears progress, including speech therapy, socialization, and even a gluten free diet.
Next time I'll introduce you to my daughter. She's unbelievable. You'll love her.
Zip it up and zip it out,
Kel
My two year old angel, D*Bear, was diagnosed with Pervasive Development Disorder. This is basically a very nice way of saying that he has autistic traits, but is still to young and his future too unpredictable to have the 100% diagnosis of "autistic."
PDD is different for everyone, and for my sweet baby boy it is characterized by this:
Speech delay
Development delay (has trouble understanding commands, stresses easily)
Repetitive behavior
Unimaginative play
For my guy, that's basically it. He does not have several of the traits characterized by autism such as:
Emotional disconnect
Lack of eye contact
Lack of social interaction
Inability to understand facial expressions
Inability to understand simple commands (No! for instance. He's got that one down.)
D*Bear, on the surface, seems like a very typical two year old who happens to be taking his time talking, but once you spend anytime with him at all, you will soon notice that he spins everything; wheels on cars, blocks, toys, basically everything but books. He also seems less attentive than your average toddler, but emotionally, seems on par, if not more in tune than his peers.
I am an extremely lucky mother. D*Bear is truly the epitome of the purest form of joy, and I wouldn't trade my experiences with him for anything. I wouldn't take a "normal" child for anything. My D may have developmental struggles ahead, but one day of working diligently to finally hear him say, "All done!" is better than one million days rolling around in all the stimulus package money Obama has to offer!
You other mother's feel like that too, I imagine. No matter what the struggle, I'd rather struggle with my cutie pie than be on cloud nine with another child with no learning/behavior issues. My child rocks. My son is awesome.
So, today is day one of being the mother of a child with a learning difference. Well, hour 11 to be exact. I can't say that I am at all surprised by this diagnosis, and while it took the wind right out of my sails att first to hear a doctor confirm our concerns, now I feel an almost euphoric peace.
Now I know what I am dealing with. Now I can tackle it. Now I can save my son.
After spending an hour crying myself silly while both my son and my 10 month old daughter (more on my Tinkerbell later,) slept, I sobbed to my amazing (and sexy) husband over the phone, and with his ever soothing voice and endless encouragement, I realized that we can tackle this together.
We can beat this. I just know we can. There has never been a more determined or purposed moment in my life. I'm going to slay his disorder, and we are going to set my son free.
Don't get me wrong - I'm no all powerful force, but I have all my faith in my omnipotent and merciful of God, and I have the most amazing group of friends and family than anyone could assemble, and we are going to win.
I have heard countless times in the weeks leading up to this appointment that God would never put more or me than I could bear. This made me feel so weak...so helpless. I feel like "I have more on me than I can bear!!," I wanted to scream, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Then I started researching...that verse is a huge misquote. It's nowhere is The Bible at all.
(just one of many sources:http://www.ronedmondson.com/2009/03/god-will-allow-more-than-you-can-bear.html)
So, I realized this: of course God puts more on us than we can bear. That's why we need him. In this moment tonight when I realized that I don't have to be impossibly strong, and that I can call upon my Father in Heaven, relief washed over me. I literally felt my nerves from head to toe calm down.
I am putting this in God's hands, and I will do my absolute best to keep my heart open and listen to what steps I need to make to allow God to heal my D Bear.
God is going to bring D out of this. I don't know His time and I don't know His reasons, but I know I capitalize every first letter of every name I refer to Him by, and that makes Him a pretty big deal.
As I sign off tonight, I sign off excited for this new chapter in my family's life, and more rejuvenated and full of worship than I have been in long while. I am obviously saddened that my child would ever have to deal with anything but rainbows and ice cream, but I know that this is not the end of the world.
This is the first day of my new life, a life of a mother with beautiful family, not so different than the day before it.
My husband and I have a lot of research to do, a lot of evaluations and therapy to attend, and a of prayers to pound out.
Praise God that I have a Lord and Savior who can put too much on me, because he will allow me to give those burdens to him. The comfort and the peace that comes from that is breathtaking.
More to come on D Bears progress, including speech therapy, socialization, and even a gluten free diet.
Next time I'll introduce you to my daughter. She's unbelievable. You'll love her.
Zip it up and zip it out,
Kel
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