Annual Neurologist Appointment

I gleefully left work on this rainy day to pick Dylan from school and felt a surge of pride when I saw him happily sitting in his seat at a table with his classmates.

"That's my baby!" my brain shouted. "That's my special little boy! My word, LOOK at him in his polo shirt! He's just perfect!" I was giddy with excitement as I opened the classroom door. Our eyes met and his said, "What in the world are you doing here, Mom!?" He greeted me with his contagious smile and said, "Heeey!" the way a Dylan Bear does, and gave me kisses as we grabbed his backpack and headed out for the day.

For a moment I forgot that we had a boring appointment on a rainy day deep in Tampa where I always get lost, and it was just me and my boy walking hand-in-hand all alone down empty corridors filled only with the sound of his precious humming.

We drove over in the rain, I got lost, and I giggled at how silly I was for never being able to find his neurologist's office. I got out my umbrella when we found a parking spot not marked "Dr." and skidaddled as quickly as I could in my high heels holding the warm, trusting hand of my beautiful son.

He didn't like the elevator but he held it together very well. "I remember having to hold him the entire elevator ride while he screamed last visit" I thought to myself. This time it only took some gentle reassurance to calm him down and that in itself is so much progress that I am already beaming before we get to the Dr's suite.

He took a seat like a big kid all by himself while I signed us in and quietly watched Max and Ruby with the other children. I took a seat next to him and played with his hair while he laughed along with the other kids at Max's persistence that he play outside in the rain. "Appropriate," I told him, "for a rainy day like today!" "Rain!" he answered smiling. I was glowing.

We were called back and asked the usual questions. I gave honest answers in between Dylan coming up to me and giving me kisses.

Then we were told that he was doing great - so great that we didn't have to come back! He was making great progress and didn't exhibit any behavior that required us to return for observations!

I was thrilled to hear this and gave Dylan some knuckles for being such a rock star. I paid our co-pay while he stood patiently next to me and handed him some fruit snacks to occupy him while I waited for copies of the appointment to give to his teachers. “Hey, handsome!” the reception said to him – she was rewarded with a huge smile and a shy giggle. People who didn’t know our struggles and challenges would never think he had a diagnosis of ASD.

We went to the elevator and he stopped in his tracks. I asked him to press the button and he did! SUCCESS! He followed verbal directions! We stepped inside just me and him and I could tell how nervous he was, so I asked him to press #1 for the lobby. He did that too! He enjoyed the button lighting up! He quoted Buzz Lightyear as we descended to the first floor, his adorable little voice echoing in the elevator.

We walked to the car in the rain and we waved bye-bye to a place that had put the fear of God in me not that long ago.

I remember hearing, "He needs to see a neurologist," and feeling like someone had stabbed me in the stomach and hearing that neurologist say, "I believe he's autistic. He may never progress," and feeling dead inside, holding back tears the entire drive back to my office, heartbroken and devastated.

And here we are today and the least of my worries was what the dr had to say about my son. The only worry or doom I had at all was about one way streets! And the humidity since I had to go back to work no matter WHAT my hair looked like.

Instead of having a visit that kept me up for nights on end before the appointment riddled with worry and anxiety, I had a wonderful afternoon with my perfect son who is making amazing progress.

And we never have to go back to that dreadful office in Tampa that I can never find on the first try to hear someone ask me questions about my son to which they think they already know the answer. Boom! High-Five THAT.